i mean, this is prose, not poetry

Fic: Interference

Title: Interference
Pairing/Character(s): Kurt/Blaine, Rachel, Santana, and Tina; Brittany, Mike, Wes, Sue, and Cooper all mentioned.
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Meddling roommates, screwball comedy, not enough porn.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee, and I have never engaged in Jane Fonda/Richard Simmons roleplay. But, you know, never say never.

Summary: Blaine is neither a drug dealer nor a gigolo, Kurt is not just using Blaine for sex, and it’s possible that their roommates are maybe a little overinvested in their personal lives. (Except for Santana, who’s just trying to make sure there’s no uglies in her personal space.)

Author’s Note: So I’ve had a few requests for a porny sequel to The Boy in Green Shorts. This is not that story. For one thing, it’s far too silly, but also in some moments far too serious. For another — not enough porn. But it is some kind of a sequel to “The Boy in Green Shorts.” The silly, serious, non-porny kind of sequel.

Lyrics used in the story are from “At the Ballet,” and “One,” both from A Chorus Line.

When the door slides across, Blaine comes face to face with a dark-haired girl in an incredibly short, incredibly tight dress, who gives him a long stare up and down and then back up again and then says solemnly, “Wanky.”

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Fic: The Boy in Green Shorts

Title: The Boy in Green Shorts
Pairing/Character(s): Kurt/Blaine, Sue, Rachel and Santana mentioned
Rating: PG-13. Nothing happens, but much is implied.
Warnings: Short shorts. Stretching as foreplay. Mild accidental dirty talk.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee and I cannot say for certain whether or not there are teeth in Sue Sylvester’s Special Animal Protein Blend Power Boost Smoothies, nor is there any proof that those teeth are, in fact, human. (Seriously, though, don’t drink them.)

Summary: There is something about the process of stretching someone else’s body, placing your hands all over them and pushing and pulling and manipulating them just so. It doesn’t have to be foreplay. But it can be. With the right person, it very much can be.

Author’s Note: Because we just need more Aerobics Class AUs. We just do.

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Fic: Same Old Moment

Title: Same Old Moment
Pairing/Character(s): Blaine, Mrs. Anderson, Dr. Anderson; all glee club characters and most of the teachers appear at least briefly, but this is mostly just about Blaine.
Rating: PG-13 but please God read the warnings
Warnings: School shooting, violent assault (for descriptions of the Sadie Hawkins dance), resulting psychological trauma.
Spoilers: Nothing beyond “Shooting Star.”

Standard-Issue Short-Form Disclaimer: I do not hold copyright to Glee, I make no claims to such, and I am not profiting from this.

Summary: He doesn’t want to die.

Author’s Notes: I honestly don’t know where this came from, apart from Blaine’s body language in that scene just in general and my complete inability to quit worrying over the Sadie Hawkins incident trying to figure out what it was and what it did to Blaine and how it affects things in his life now. Please read the warnings, guys; this gets slightly more graphic than my usual treatment of things.

Title from “Say.”

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Fic: Feel So Tired (But You Can’t Sleep)

Title: Feel So Tired (But You Can’t Sleep)
Pairing/Character(s): Mercedes, Cooper
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: This fic takes place directly after “Shooting Star,” but doesn’t go into too much detail.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee.

Summary: Two days after the gun goes off, Mercedes and Cooper head home to Lima.

Author’s Notes: Title comes from “Fix You” by Coldplay. I apologize if there are any inaccuracies in describing airport security procedures, but I honestly haven’t been on a plane since before 9/11, and it was a lot easier then. This is somewhat fragmentary, but I don’t know if I have a more traditional story in me after this episode (and, honestly, after this week), so.

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Fic: When the World Comes In (Even if Your Hands Are Shaking)

Title: When the World Comes In (Even if Your Hands Are Shaking)
Pairing/Character(s): Dr. Benjamin Anderson (with female O.C.), Kurt, Rachel, Tina (via text message), Burt Hummel, Santana, Quinn, Sebastian Smythe (via Facebook), Jake, Puck, Andrea Carmichael (via twitter), Finn, Wayne LaPierre (via Fox News), Sue Sylvester, Mike and Mercedes (via chat), Joe, Kitty
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: You guys saw “Shooting Star?” I don’t think anything could hurt as bad as that did, but if you’re still reeling from it, you might want to skip this or save it for later. (Brittany. My God, Brittany.) This story also briefly references Newtown and Virginia Tech. Not all of the characters take what happened at McKinley seriously, so that might be a rage trigger for some. One character feels a brief loss of connection to God, which could be upsetting.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee. This story does very briefly mention a few real-life figures because frankly, it’s difficult to get away from that when you’re dealing with these sorts of issues. In these cases, care has been taken to keep the mentions as brief as possible, and ensure that the things that they say/do in the story are things that they have said/done in real life.

Summary: Nobody was hurt when the gun went off. Everyone was hurt when the gun went off.

Author’s Notes: I’m pretty sure you all saw this fic coming, right? Half of the title comes from “Don’t Dream It’s Over,” half of the title from “Say.” The “Shep” mentioned at one point in the story is Fox News anchor Shepherd Smith. Wayne LaPierre is an NRA spokesman. And for those who may not remember her, Andrea Carmichael was Rod Remington’s co-anchor until she quit, on-air, at the beginning of “Naked.” I apologize if this fic is rough; I apologize also that I didn’t have the emotional wherewithal to tackle all the characters that deserved tackling. I did my best to keep my politics out of it but some of them poke through; I’m not apologizing for having politics, but if any part of this lapses into didactific, I apologize for that.

To: Mom, Dad

2 minutes ago 3:37 pm, April 11

Dont reply to this. Someone fired a gun at school. We are in lockdown. Safe but trying to stay quiet. Please call 911 for us. I love you. Will txt again when over.

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Fic: We Can Be Heroes

Title: We Can Be Heroes
Pairing/Character(s): The Human Brain, Big Time Cooper, Wall Flower (aka Woman Fierce), World’s Greatest, Cleanie Bug, (The Almighty) Treble Clef, Blackbird, and Nightbird. (Also Known As: Brittany S. Pierce, Cooper Anderson, Marley Rose, Burt Hummel, Emma Pillsbury, Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, and Blaine Anderson). All other characters mentioned. Unrequited Blaine/Sam and Tina/Blaine briefly mentioned, Kurt/Adam and Kurt/Blaine briefly mentioned
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: Discussions of mental illness — clinical depression/dysthymia, bulimia/anorexia, and OCD. Refers to events occuring throughout “Boys and Girls on Film,” but doesn’t contain any spoilers for episodes after that.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee. I don’t own depression, either, but I’m pretty sure most days it doesn’t own me, so.

Summary: It’s not easy to be a superhero; you spend a lot of time fighting, and you’re not always sure you can win. But it’s a little bit easier when you’ve got friends.

Author’s Notes: So this is my take on how Blaine went from “Hopelessly Devoted to You” to “Shout!” — i.e., with a lot of help. It was originally going to be more wide-ranging in terms of the topics covered and the characters used, but I decided to narrow it down to one specific concept (the idea that Blaine suffers from recurring clinical depression) and go from there. So I’m afraid the story of Joe teaching Blaine yoga (not Bro-ga, that’s Sam’s thing) will have to wait for another time.

(Also, I realize that the omission of Blond Chameleon from this story may seem a little egregious, but honestly, there’s just nothing I can add to the friendship as it exists in canon. It’s basically flawless.)

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Fic: The Boy Who Loved Dragons

Title: The Boy Who Loved Dragons
Pairing/Character(s): Cooper, Blaine/Kurt; brief appearances from Blaine and Cooper’s father
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Character death, mentions of human sacrifice, one very brief description of a dead body, mentions of homophobia in a quasi-historical setting

Disclaimer: I do not own any Glee characters. I also do not own any characters from Greek mythology, although I’m pretty sure Zeus isn’t suing me any time soon (although…)

Summary: It hurts to know the truth: that his brother is gone, that the story of his fame is gone, too, and can never be told. But there is another story here, and the storyteller thinks he is starting to see the shape of it now, in the two young faces before him, in the softness of their eyes as they look on one another and the firm clasp of their hands intertwined. And it is, in some ways, very similar to the tales he heard on his journey: the sacrifice of the witch’s boy, and how Death came to him and, moved by his beauty and his trust, fell in love with him, and gave him not the pain of the sacrifice, but all the pleasures of love.

It is similar to that story.

But in another way, it is very different.

Author’s Notes: Another part of the Pomegranates stories; this follows Sweet As Pomegranates and Red as Pomegranates (you don’t have to have read Red to understand this, but you do need to read Sweet, or you really won’t know what’s going on.) This was not intended to be a love letter to fandom, but it kind of is anyway. More notes at the end.

For you, there will be dragons.

role of a lifetime (puck-centric glee actually reaction fic omg)

justasiiidekick:

Noah Puckerman feels it in his balls when he finally writes The Big One.

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(Source: threepwillow, via inoticeyoureanerd-archive)

One Last Thing For Tonight

Because I said I would, and so I’m going to:

Title: That Extra Mile
Pairing/Character(s): Kurt/Blaine
Rating: NC-17
Kinks: Fucking machines, oversensitivity, multiple orgasms, mild voyeurism, fun with power dynamics
Word Count: 1550-ish
Spoilers: None

Standard-Issue Short-Form Disclaimer: I do not hold copyright to Glee, make no claims to it, and am not writing this for profit. If you happen to know me in real life and you read this, don’t even try bringing it up; I will deny everything.

Summary:  This is about Blaine, and what he wants.

Author’s Notes:  I have no excuses for this.  Of course, I have no apologies, either, so there’s that.  (I do have one small clarification, though, in case people were confused by my last post on the subject — this is NOT a b!p fic.  The goal was to write a fucking machine fic with no boypussy in sight.  And I did.  And there we are.)

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